| My New Year's Resolutions for 2010 |
[Jan. 1st, 2010|11:02 pm] |
Deja vu. Repetition. Persistence. 2010, make way for a more responsible adult! Hahaha!
1) I shall write more frequently.
2) I shall not get a grade below 1.25 in my MA subjects. (Hahaha. A girl can dream, yes.)
3) I shall try (being the operative term) to finish off most of the books on my office table and in my plastic chests.
4) I shall read Ulysses.
5) I shall make the most out of my Moleskine planner (which I got for freeeee).
6) I shall be less uncouth when riding public transportation, especially the MRT, MOST especially when boarding or getting off the train at Cubao station.
7) I shall be more gentle with my way of reducing people who make my blood boil like lava and explode like a geyser to flecks of germ-infested matter or put more plainly, human or bovine waste a.k.a. S-H-I-T.
8) I shall be more generous to street children (not urchins).
9) I shall try to read the Daily Gospel more frequently.
10) I shall try to get my abs from 2nd year college back, by summer.
11) I shall travel to Cambodia, Thailand, Singapore, or/and Hong Kong.
12) I shall not spend beyond my means.
13) I shall not spend beyond my means.
14) I shall not spend beyond my means.
15) This will obviously not stop me from spending beyond my means.
16) My laptop shall be fully paid this year.
17) I shall try to limit my internet usage to a maximum of 1 hour. Make that 2. Okay 3.
18) I shall try to perfect the art of layering clothing.
19) I shall try to be home by 10 or 11.
20) Okay I think this is enough. I have a lot on my hands already.;p
Happy 2010 again folks!
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| It's Day 1 all over again. |
[Jan. 1st, 2010|12:08 am] |
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(I am actually fulfilling one of my New Year's resolutions right this minute by trying to write more frequently.) It's the first day of another year and another decade so I feel extra clear-headed and jovial. I am at the apex of my youth at the start of another era, thus compelling me make the most out of it before I completely lose the license for childish behavior.
It will be difficult for me to look back in full detail. But from the bits and pieces of the yesteryears' actives and passives, I can say that my accumulated baggages have turned into belongings.
I am quite grateful for having experienced the transition from casette tape to CD to MP3 player, film camera to digicam, the texting revolution to online social networking, elephant pants to skinny jeans, kili-kili bags to hobo bags, Sweet Valley to Gossip Girl, alternative to indie rock, Latin American to Asian soap operas, Alicia Silverstone to Lindsay Lohan. I am also (not so and so) fortunate to have witnessed the bastardization of the vampire myth via Stephenie Meyer (no offence to the fandom), the creation of the term 'flash fiction', the absolute reign of free verse poetry, the death of Hollywood Hunky/Glamazon to British Scuffy/Boheme (a.k.a. Rob Pattinson, Clive Owen, Keira Knightly, Sienna Miller), the reintroduction of leggings as an alternative for pants, neo-80s-S&M fashion c/o Balmain and Marc Jacobs for Louis Vuitton, the birth and immortality of Harry Potter (leading to the actual separation of Children's and Young Adult fiction), dystopian fiction distantly portrayed in reality TV (i.e. Big Brother), novelty songs, Manny Pacquiao and Philippine talent on American national TV, the culinary invasion of frozen yogurt and cafes (starting with Starbucks), Ellen Degeneres and The L Word---I could go on and on. I grew older with the world as I went from boyish to Sapphic, pushed the mechanics of vanity through orthodontics and that wonderful invention of rebonding, accepted that I was for the Humanities and not the Sciences, had my own period of Hedonism and Decadence (thanks to the [mis]conception of my University being 'liberal'), achieved my childhood dream of working for a bookstore chain, graduated KUNG-laude by a friggin' .03, wandered aimlessly in some parts Southeast Asia and then Bum-dom, failed (and currently continuing) in my pursuit of the degree I should have taken in college...met and loved and lost and okay I won't pretend the past decade was (and prolly the rest of my life will be) mostly about my amorous affairs and disillusionments.
Whew. I wasn't wasting time after all. And I thank God for giving me yet another chance to begin and push through, but this time, more wisely. Happy new year universe. We have come a looong way from being mere cosmic dust. Cheers!
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| This Christmas, I'll pretend money is no object. |
[Dec. 15th, 2009|01:22 pm] |
And Buddhism has been proven to be a fallacious.
The Material Girl is asking the following presents from Santa:
> ALL the books on my office table
> a pair of Louis Vuitton Glamorize me! satin pumps in black
> a Treviiiii (petit model)
> an Epi Speedy 25 in Cassis
> a Neo-alma
> a Kali clutch
> a black or festive colored Balenciaga Motorcycle bag
> a black Chanel quilted bag
> Zara GCs
> a new digital camera (preferably 10 megapixels)
> any accessory for my beloved Mac, Ramses
> boxes and boxes of Royce chocolates
> Painting/Sketching lessons in the summer
> a decent wallet from Louis Vuitton or Prada
> a decent make-up kit from LeSportsac
> a Wii consol
> a Nintendo (so I can play Pokemon again)
> a trip to Hong Kong or Bangkok
> a flamboyant bouquet of tulips and roses
> a Nightmare Before Christmas keyring from Hong Kong Disneyland
> an Elie Sab/Zac Posen/Blumarine evening gown
> a lifetime subscription to Nylon, Teen Vogue, and Vogue
> an ode to me, Narcissa
> Love.
That's all, thank you.
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| Sometimes, all the time |
[Sep. 6th, 2009|03:41 am] |
you give someone all of your time and you have entrusted that same person with all of your worries. You have anchored the divine to the physical presence of that person. You so want to make love obvious and ubiquitous in your life that you have unconsciously tucked that person in all the enclaves of your everyday existence. However, it is a disappointing surprise that every single time you are let down---but almost never unscathed.
You try to take control of your life, but you have selflessly offered that person half of the reins. And what happens? You are steered towards countless pits and it is only a matter of time before you surrender what's left of you to a great, big ravine. You tell yourself repeatedly that everything will be alright, and they are indeed. But then again, your hope is defeated by the fact that everything just repeats itself.
Like a child you are unaware that you are trained to be somebody else through repetition and should you go back to your old self, what's left is a shattered puzzle you can only blindly piece back together. You recognize yourself, but what you are has been alienated by love; that desire to be yourself and be somebody else, for somebody else all at the same time.
So yes, you are once again this angst-ridden person who is not getting any younger. You ask yourself what you might have done to deserve all those circumstances, all those people. And whether or not you should be totally blamed for all the choices you have made. But isn't it that other people make choices that involve you and influence or even possess the choices that you make?
You try to be more composed and try even more to silence your demons, only to have all the bitter memories scratching at your neck and your throat like a monstrous sprite. You don't know what all your pain and hard work will give you in the end. But should all else fail, you know the doors and windows that silly thing called Hope have once opened for you will be closed for a very long time. Or worse, til' all the world closes in on you. And should that sordid thing happen, you shall amuse yourself with that part of you that is a whore.
Aytenkyu bow, bitch, bow. Okay, I'll go fuck myself now. And no, I am not apologizing for the cursing. *hikbi*
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| I miss you. Just because, |
[Aug. 26th, 2009|12:16 pm] |
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no matter how far away I stray from you, I find myself, still calling myself, undoubtedly, yours, singularly. (All hail, the regal chumminess! Haha!) |
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| Naaalala ko ang kanta ng Sandwich: |
[Mar. 26th, 2009|07:53 pm] |
I just wanna be on the beach---
SUNBUUUURRRRRRRNNNNN!
It is summer. However,
my belly won't cooperate with me, so for now---
I'll have to make do with the mountains. Haha. Let's go Bossing!
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